My Opinions on the New Dew Flavors

Typhoon. White Out. Distortion. These are the names of the 3 new flavors of Mountain Dew for this year's "Dewmocracy" The names alone evoke some nice flavors if you ask me.

Here was my thought process: Typhoon? Oh that's probably tropical punch flavored, but different enough from Baja Blast to completely distinguish it. White Out? That's probably lightning flavored. Or mint. Maybe coconut, if someone is really effing disgusting.Distortion hmmm that sounds interesting, it must be something completely out of left field, it just tastes like an insane person's thoughts.

All of these options would have been better than what people actually came up with.

The actual flavors are (hold on to your seats for this): "Baja Blast that we dyed red", "Sierra Mist Citrus", and "We-had-leftover-artificial-lime-flavoring-from-Pepsi-Lime Lime"!

Ummm, WHAT? Did Someone from the 1900's travel through time to suggest these "new" flavors thinking they were still relevant and original?

The site says that Dew fans were the ones to suggest these amazing flavors, and the best ones were chosen for consideration. Really? These were the best flavors people could concoct in their unimaginative brains? A flavor that exists already, and two flavors that are already components of normal Mountain Dew!? What the hell were the other suggestions!? Dirty Diaper? Lobster Vomit? Rust? Seriously, where is the creativity with these new flavors!? When Doritos was putting out new flavors they made an effing cheeseburger in tortilla chip form (and it was DELICIOUS). I'd rather try Cheesburger Dew than have another sip of these shitty excuses for creativity. How much thought did people honestly put into these ideas? "Oh dude you know what'd be cool? If Dew tasted more like Citrus!!" Oh, yeah, good idea douchelord. That's like making KFC taste more like salt, or Starbucks taste more like an asshole. You can't add flavors that are already components of the original product and market it as new! I'm half expecting the next Dewmocracy to consist of the flavors Caffeine, Grapefruit, and Yellow #5, because that's the kind of optimism this "election" instills in me regarding the majority of Mountain Dew drinkers.

"Photography"

I hate photography.

No, I don't mean the act of taking pictures. What I'm referring to is the constant trend of people taking meaningless pictures of random garbage, grey scaling and/or over saturating the ever living crap out of them, and posting them on their Facebook profiles as ~Photography~

Let me say something real quick: WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS NOT FUCKING PHOTOGRAPHY. It's not art, its not thoughtful, and it doesn't make you look deep and intriguing. What it does do is make you look like a pretentious douche who thinks they have some sort of unique outlook on life that can only be conveyed through black and white bullshit that you found in your yard. I'm not denying that there are some artistic values to photographs, but if you're spending more time photoshopping the picture than you did to take it, you're doing something wrong. "Oh but these were taken with a really expensive camera that I saved up for for years!" Oh really? Awesome. You just spent $400 on a camera that's gonna be used for a medium range shot of the back of your friend as he/she walks down a hallway and you're going to take the colors out except for their shoes and hat cause that makes it artsy. NO! Stop being retarded and get a real hobby for Christ's sake.